The Order of the Billion Clones

I went to a wedding party today. The gentleman whose daughter was to get married, has two children- a son, who is the elder one, and the said daughter. A few months ago, we also attended his Son's marriage. His wife, apart from being breathtakingly gorgeous, also hails from the North East side of India, a fact which caused much argument between the Father and Son, because somebody told the Father that women from that part of our country are not of 'good moral character'. The situation was, in fact, so bad that they eloped. The Son with his girlfriend, I mean, not the Father- Son duo.

When I was in XIth grade (the year we have to choose our subject stream in India from amongst Science, Commerce, and Humanities) I was forced to take up science, even though I wanted to do commerce because of my mother's insistence. I later almost had a breakdown before I shifted to commerce. Not that my parents were waiting for such a dire situation- they could see that I could not keep up with the demands of the science stream, and had asked me to reconsider, but I did want to give it another try. I'm today studying a set of commerce based subjects, and the above mentioned situation is probably the reason my base concepts are still slightly confused, not that I blame my mother for it.

Currently, I'm doing a project on how parental pressure affects students in general, and their choices in academics in particular. Honestly, I never knew people could be such absolute hypocrites. While surveying for people's opinions, parents often said to me "I don't actually agree with that, but it'll sound so bad if I say so..", because you see, we just want our children to go into 'respectable' professions, and be doctors, or engineers, or lawyers, and we will do almost anything to make sure our child 'knows' what we want... however, we don't want to come across as domineering and authoritarian. It'll look so bad.

They explained that to me, and went on to check one of the other options on the questionnaires.

Of course, it's wrong, or let's say inexact, to only blame parents for such situations... our parents also have to answer to their families, their friends, the neighbours, the postman, etc. I'm not just taking a dig- for those not familiar with the Subcontinent, this really is the case. The answer to 'What will people say?' drives most decisions here. It's the reason why there was such a row over some poor girl's ethnicity- after all, someone said that people from her home- region are not well brought up, so of course, everyone else must also think something alike. We cannot associate with that girl- she'll bring a bad name to the family, never mind that my Son is in love with her.

And sometimes, it gets really strange, and on so many levels- a really close friend wished to take up Mathematics Honors as her graduation degree subject, She even got through to some really good colleges for that subject, however, her parents refused to let her- not by forbidding it outright, but they were upset and insistent, and, well... there was just one way for her to go from there. All through school, the brightest kid is the one who does well in Math, and suddenly, once we're out of school, it's not a good enough option anymore- why? Oh, you see, the greatest opportunity is in the field of commerce, or business- so now you're compelled, even obligated, to take that up.

Then there is this friend, Z, who really wanted to pursue Mass Communications, and got through to the personal interview process of the best course for that subject on offer in India. The interviewers took one look at her school- leaving examination's mark sheet and asked her, dumbfounded, "Par Beta, apke to 92% aaye hain! Aap yeh kyun karna chahte ho?" (But, my child, you've scored 92% marks- why do you want to take up this course?). Z raised an eyebrow, and asked if the course was not good enough for somebody with a good (great) percentage, to which they hastily (and unconvincingly) responded that of course it was...
The point is, an unconventional course, or one that is considered to be 'professional', apart from the regular Engineering, Law, etc., is only meant for students who don't score well enough to go anywhere else. The idea that somebody may actually want to study that subject due to free will is blasphemous.

Why does this keep happening to us? I know that our parents' want what is best for us, but so what? Don't we also aspire to the very best on offer as well? Isn't it a natural human tendency to gravitate towards the best available opportunity, whichever that may be for our individual selves? So whether it is our life partner, or the subjects we choose to study, should we not have a greater- No, the greatest- say in who or what we choose, and how we select that pick? After all, who can know us better than ourselves?

Well, the most important, I guess, is the fact of our financial dependence on them and secondly, our parents definitely want to save us from regret- you know, that potent (and rather dread- inducing, if exercised by somebody other than yourself on your life) question of 'what if?'.
What if I had done what everyone asked me to do? Would I be better off today? Would I be happier? More financially secure? Would my marriage work better? Would I own the house that I want, and the best car available? Would I?

To answer these, I will have to turn to those stores of such infinite and apt wisdom, Google, and my favourite, Professor Albus Dumbledore-

"The consequences of our actions are always so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed ..."

I love the man, I really do. I first read that line as an eleven year old, and have never second guessed my actions since- or tried not to, in any case. My mum says something similar, but since the applications of her theory are somewhat confined only to shopping, I shall refrain from quoting it here. And besides, Dumbledore said it first.

That reminds me, that we are also studying Public Relations as a subject, and our idea for the project suddenly went kaput, and so we had to hurriedly come up with new suggestions... One of my five other ideas was to look into 'The Harry Potter Alliance', and all their PR activities, since I found the concept really interesting, and their Board of Directors are available on public forums such as Facebook, etc.

They take the concepts presented in JK Rowling's books' and apply them to regular every day global problems such as poverty, free media, discrimination, government unaccountability, etc.

So, what happened?

I started getting panicked calls from the other members of my group, to tell me that we absolutely cannot do a project on 'Harry Potter'- "I mean, come on, how childish! It has to be a good project, yaar (my friend), we must get full marks in it. There's just no way I'm submitting a project on Harry Potter!" When I asked them if they're familiar with what the HP Alliance does, they were clueless, however, they wished to be taken seriously, and therefore would not be associated with anything to do with 'Harry Potter', no matter how interesting the project actually turned out to be. They even made sure I had nothing to do with that project anymore- since we're doing all other projects together, they asked me to concentrate on another subject, while somebody else handled PR. My greatest problem with this was that nobody even bother to go through the links I sent them, or any of my other suggestions.

So how can I say that our parents' are the only ones affected by social perception and the pressure to conform?

Like, unlike, dislike

Admiration is a strong sentiment.

It came up in a conversation with my best friend D recently when she asked me what I thought about the actress Aishwarya Rai. She herself doesn't like her too much, and considers her too beautiful- "She has perfect features, you know, but she's so plastic- she's just not real, and she can't act, either." My answer to that was that I think she's untouchable. She's in a place, a dimension where she can't touch me in any manner- physically or emotionally, and I can't reach her either. She may as well be a holographic projection.

Since she (D) didn't understand what I was trying to convey, I told her of the people I do admire in the film industry.

As I've said, admiration is a strong sentiment, but it is especially so when directed towards people. It becomes a personification of who we are, what we like, and who we want to be. What we like about other people should tell us what we want from our lives, I think.

I told her that I like Leonardo Dicaprio, because the projects he takes up mean something, both to him, and to the rest of the world. I think he seems like a genuine person- some one who wouldn't hesitate to help you carry your bags out of the grocery store, even though he's supposed to be such a star. I like him because the 'star' bit doesn't dazzle him, and he doesn't want it to dazzle other people either. I think he'll look just as good in an Armani suit, as in a rumpled T- shirt and denims, and that that has much more to do with character than make up or fitness.

In the Hindi Film Industry, I think the only person I truly hold in any lasting regard is Kajol. She's a great actress, sure, but even more that, she has the ability to laugh at herself. She's not a star- she's an actress.

Of course, I don't normally watch too many movies, sports really is just so much better, in so many different ways, than a bit of pre- recorded drama. And most of the stuff they churn out these days leads to higher levels of bile in the body, in my humble opinion. The only reason I chose examples from that particular industry was because we had been talking of an actress in the first place.

The exercise actually got me thinking- what qualities do I value? And what does that say about me? Why do I despise a Paris Hilton, and adore a Shaun Pollock?

The answer I came up with was this- I don't like or dislike everything about a person, but there is one aspect of their personality that somehow outweighs everything else, and becomes the deciding factor. I don't like being in the lime light, so I don't understand people who are constantly hankering for it. If then that person stoops to levels I would never get down to, to get their fifteen minutes of fame, my reaction sours to lower levels of scorn. If they continue along their chosen path, so does my scorn, until in reaches the stage of despisableness, and then finally a combination of scorn, despise and indifference.

Even amongst the people I regard highly, I find that the reasons may not be similar at all- For example, I like Kumar Sangakkara because I think he's hardworking, and because I'm not so at all. But I also like that he enjoys reading, just like me. So I like him because he has something I feel I don't, but also because I feel we share something in common.

J. K. Rowling- I love her for sharing Hogwarts with me. I really do. But I truly esteem her for caring about girls who suffer from eating disorders and have self image issues. Here, I am definitely grateful to her for the magic, but also happy that she supports a cause that I'm vocal about.

I was content that it was none other than Michael Phelps who broke all those records at the Olympics, and became the greatest Olympian ever, because he did it for and with a sport I have loved and lived. Swimming, you dolts.

And then there is wistfulness. I want to be able to achieve a level of creative freedom where I can do what I want, no matter how different, and do it so well that the world stands back applauds- and remembers, like a Leonardo Da Vinci or a Johnny Depp.

The view from outside

Yesterday, while travelling in the Delhi Metro from North Campus to I. S. B. T., I found myself in a compartment full of pro- Tibetan demonstrators. They were all Buddhist monks, and carrying Tibetan flags. Some of the younger lot had 'Free Tibet' and such like painted on them in black.


I debated with myself on whether to ask them some questions or not...
Do it!


No.. it'll just look strange...


Just do it! ! !


NO! Everyone's looking!


Look, just stuff it up your-



"Excuse me, may I please ask you some questions about your movement? If it's not a problem... "

Oh, right...

The guy I had spoken to seemed surprised, but agreed anyway.



Yeah, right, like the poor bloke had a choice, with you doing your Rita skeeter act... Skeeter never said ‘excuse me’. Oh, just shut up, and concentrate...


Well, yes, I did kind of ASSAULT him with questions, actually.

Q1. So, do you want independence or autonomy?

Ans. Independence..


Q2. But, the Dalai Lama says he'd like autonomy...

Ans. Yes, but we want independence...

Q3. So.. do you think the furore about the Olympic torch around the world will help?

Ans. Yes, I believe so...

Q4. And what about world leaders debating about whether or not to attend the Games? The German Chancellor Angela Merkel, for example, do you think it'll work in your favour, or do you think it'll make China more brutal?

Ans. Yes, I think it's good...


Well, I could barely wait for the guy to get his answers out, and I was already asking my next. Honestly, I didn't even know I was that interested in the subject... Meanwhile, he was getting more and more flustered, which I finally realised, and said thank you before moving away slightly.



Then I realised, I hadn't asked him a rather important question, and went on to do so belatedly:



Q5. Excuse me, I'm sorry, but could you please tell me if you're a citizen of India or Tibet?

Ans. I'm Bhutanese.

I later realised I should have asked him if they were all from Bhutan.

Maybe five hours after this I told a group of friends about my encounter, and though initially interested, one of them told me, "You know, you should not speak to these people, these chink- eyed people, they're mostly prostitutes and drug addicts. You should be careful."

When I reminded her that they were monks, she shook her head and said "No, I live in North Campus, I know all about this. They're all mostly Pro's and druggists"


I didn't point out the contradiction in her sentence, and in any case, I didn't really know what to say to that, so I kept quiet, and let them change the topic of the conversation.

Later, I wished I'd said something, anything- to defend these 'chink- eyed' people.