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Saturday, 27 September 2008

Breathe- murmurs of my existence

My life is a path in a forest, where dabs of dappled sunlight dance with leafy shades, and so many cross tracks criss- crossing along... an arbitrary turn anywhere, and I'd be a completely different person today. I have lived many lives- daughter, sister, friend, guide, and somehow, in all of them, it is not what they mean- it only matters how they feel. So many questions, and no one to answer them, yet I know- one day, it'll all be gone.

In the stream of consciousness that gushes through the valley of thought, eons are often made up of moments- yet there are some moments of limpid incandescence that last for eternities together.

What is family, anyway? What are four walls? Family is where you find it, and a house protects the dreamer. Who do I see in everyone else? Is it a reflection or an aspiration? You only see the glory, never the bloodlust. Nobody knows what lies in the shadows of my heart. Have you even noticed the difference between faith and belief? Where does loyalty spring from, and when does it finally rest? Why? If I were a colour, which would I be? Nobody knows what walls could tell us, if only they would speak.

Every quest has its casualties, yet unbelievably fantastic things can happen even after the boots have been worn. A river runs an age and a long way, and dreams do come true- they're just not always dressed as we want them to be.

The imprint of my journeys on the sands of sempiternity; I look behind me, and already they're fading.

The aria of my psyche; listen to it now- soon, it will be silenced forever.


  1. yep, you were right. intense as hell :) and you know me an intensity, my range of emotions covers 'lol humour' and/or 'violent bang-the-pc rage' but still, will do my best to leave a sensible comment. it was well written, although the language was a little too high brow. i like the part about the walls, interesting thought, them talking back. so on the whole, rather nice! now please, i beg of you... go study!

  2. LOL thanks :)
    Means much.

    I wrote this post a while back, actually, just didn't know wheter to put it up or not...
    Finally, I did.

  3. hey.. aditi.. i do read your blogs yaar... pretty pretty good, expression of one self is of a lot of importance in my view. many questions go unanswered, that is true ... life is a quest in which one not only questions but also it is vital to find the answers to satisfy the hunger of our mind which never ceases to rest. Contemplate, the answer is within you. maybe you don't realize it or you don't want to accept it. Expression and sharing of thoughts does help in lightening the burden, but it isn't the solution. :) take care.

  4. breathe, murmurs....familiar ;).

    so i see you did publish it. if you still care, i was gona suggest it anyway...this kind is perfectly harmless and much appreciated.


  5. @ Bharath: Thanks :)

    @ Siddharth: Yes, isn't it? I thought so myself... just felt that this title suited it better :)

    Glad you like it... very different from my usual stuff, so was apperhensive.

    Yay :D

  6. Your first sentence reminds me of the poem ‘Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost which I read years back. And the second sentence makes me wanna say “Oh come on, you are just a 19 year old girl ( Haa, see a revelation has just hit me. It has been quite some time since you ‘turned 19’. I know people who grow a year old in every 6 years or so? Do you belong to that rare species?) and not a granny. You’ve ‘miles to go’ and more intense roles are in the offing that of wife, mother, mother-in law, grandmother, great grandmother, great great…)

    That said; now let me say the post made me a bit sad, in fact not just a bit, it made me sad. However, I’m pretty relieved to know that you ‘wrote this post a while back’, I don’t think it’s great to have such thoughts during exams. I may not understand the intensity of your emotions or the actual significance of your words, but things like, “You only see the glory, never the bloodlust” baffle me.(Of course I know, but still.)

    Thanks for letting me know that there exists a word ‘Sempiternity’. I don’t think that I will ever learn to use it but there is a high chance of me confusing it with ‘Serendipity’. In that case I may cancel my ‘thanks’ and demand a compensation.

    Now in that inimitable voice of the stout & strict headmistress who wears spectacles on the tip of her nose and frighten all the kids to death by looking at them: “Don’t you know that it’s time to study and not to roam around in blogosphere, what you think of yourself, how many times I’ve told you blah blah blah…

  7. Hey :)

    Firstly, Serendipity means good luck. It was a word coined by the author Horace Walpole, who in his 3000 letters talked about the Three princes of Serendip (Sri Lanka). Their Highnesses travelled about making discoveries by accident. That is why serendipity also means to make discoveries by chance.

    Sempiternity on the other hand, is quite a simple word, and means time, without a beginning or end. It is synonymous with 'eternity'.

    Well, about my many lives... I have been an aunt... and I have seen my baby nephew die as well... Children are not supposed to die before their parents, you know, so I have lost deeply too.

    I wrote this post during the exams... just not when I posted it, since I wanted some of my friends to read it before I put it up, if at all... but, since I have NO PATIENCE, I put it up anyway.

    I'm sorry it made you sad, but, you know, I just tend to be a bit melancholic by nature, and sometimes go through such intense moments, that I have to write them down.

    Ye, yes, I'll go... in a bit ;P

  8. Oh, how beautiful! I wish so very much that I could come up with such gorgeous ideas! Breathtaking.

    And thank you for following my blog. :)

  9. Thanks :)
    I have mostly just recieved a luke warm response to it, and this was such a personal effort, so, thank you
    Also, I only followed your blog because I liked it, so really, it's only because of you!